He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
