Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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