Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
