I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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