She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
