i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
