So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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