We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
