I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
