Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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