the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
