I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
