Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
