i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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