I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
