google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
