Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
