He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
