would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize
