i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
