found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
