i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
do herpes really smell.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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