So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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