Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
