Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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