Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
