I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize
