dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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