Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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