sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
