Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
That accounts for only three of the penises
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
