I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
just found out that she named her cat after me.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
