I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize