She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
