No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
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There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
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So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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