are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Randomize
