You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
