The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
