may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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