Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
