shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
