Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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