Don't you send me to vm
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
