I love black thongs
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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