No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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