what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He called his prostate his "boner button".
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
