I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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