Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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