are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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