Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
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He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
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My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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