Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
