the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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