we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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