So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
