And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
