so let's talk penis.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
