It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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