He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
