I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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