Just fell off a train. Bad.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
