I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
