she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
