He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
