i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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